Birth

The Silence Broken

Building a new relationship is like having a new born baby. You must nurture the child; Give it attention; Give it love; Give it time. Your past experiences help you to be a better parent. You ignorances will cause minor ailments, but your tender love and care will nurse the child back to health.

For the past month Brooklyn and I have given birth to a child (named relationship) We are giving it all it needs to survive through life. We are positioning ourselves so that the child can grow into a strong and healthy one. One that can withstand trials and tribulations. These trials have come in the form of skepticism, disrespect, attempted infiltration, and past experiences. Our nuturing prepared us for these tribulations and have gotten us through them.

While I have been attending to my new relationship, other aspects of my life have changed i.e friends. Friends are important to me and I respect the friendsships that I have built. It seems though, that some people have become offended, hurt, or bothered that I have not spent enough or any time with them over the last couple of weeks. I do not apologize for my actions, especially when I communicated my thoughts on relationships prior to this new one. I specifically stated that I am a different person single than I am "married." It is funny that some of my friends (Hi Jay) remember that conversation and embrace that idea, where some scorn it and do not agree. Either way, my relationship (aside from school and GOD) , will continue to occupy my full attention. I will create a balance to include my friends, but I believe that if truly someone is a friend they will be a friend before and during a relationship. They will understand the time it takes to build a relationship and get over there personal feelings. They will embrace the happiness of their friend.


Happy Holidays to All from Tyson:

...And so it goes

Brooklyn comes to New Jersey

The fifth day confirmed, what the four before had implied….
Our energies and connection is so strong, that it can’t be denied.

My heart and minds would not let me rest. The constant beats and thoughts of Brooklyn created an anxiety that would not be calmed. I was sitting at my part-time job on Sunday, waiting until the clock struck three. It was at that time that I would race home and get ready for him. Brooklyn texts throughout the day gave me a temporary relief. After what seemed like forever, my workday had concluded and I went home to prepare. Getting ready for Brooklyn is such a long process. I start by looking in my closet to pick just the right outfit. I’m thinking to myself, I have to get some new sneakers and some new clothes. Normally I am not concerned with fashion (as long as its clean and neat I am usually satisfied), but for some reason I want to be extra fly’ for Brooklyn. This presents a problem because I don’t seem to have any fly’ outfits. {hint… Christmas is coming}
After many attempts, I found a pair of jeans and a nice fitted long-sleeve shirt. Finding clothes is just the beginning. Next comes my “hygienic cleansing process”. This is where my inner and outer body is cleaned thoroughly. After the cleaning process, I dressed and left my room.

When I saw him we both smiled. Every time we see each other it is like the muscles in our face take on a mind of their own and form a smile. I love it. We decided to go on a double date. We met the other couple in downtown BK. to see Tyler Perry’s “Why Did I Get Married” for the second time. We held hands throughout the movie, acting out our emotions vicariously through the characters. After the movie we drove back to BK and had discussions on life, love, and relationships. We commented on the pace of the friendship/relationship and decided to disregard the negative thoughts of the proverbial “they”. After walking back to Brooklyn’s 2 bedroom apt., we took off our clothes and began passionately kissing. We fell onto the bed, one on top of the other. Our bodies connected. We could feel that the other was excited. We could see that the other was excited. We tasted each other. We……………………we stopped!!! We went to sleep. (NO SEX)

I woke up on Monday morning and returned to work after taking the last week off. I could think of nothing, but the night before. I could only think of this new man that had walked into my life. What makes him different” Why do I want him so badly? Why am I willing to give myself to him mind body and soul? Why am I prepared to alter my life for him? Why am I so happy? These questions made my day fly by. After school I gave him a call to see how his day was going. He informed me that he too, was thinking of me the night before. I suggested he come to Jersey when he said he wanted to see me. He said, “I don’t know, It’s kinda’ far…I’m kinda’ tired…I have to go see my grandma….I have to go home first….I have to go to work in the morning…” I wasn’t hearing the excuses. I wanted to hold him in my arms again. I wanted to wake up with him next to me. Every excuse he had, I combated until he gave in and got on the train. I picked him up with a huge smile on my face (those damn face muscles). We returned to the my place and greeted formally with a long embrace and long kiss. We decided to find out a little more about each other. Brooklyn, being the organized man that he is decided to make a list; A list of our likes and dislikes; A His and His List. We listed our favorite foods, colors, and ice cream. We listed our pet peeves, our fears, our goals, and our good points. While making the list, dinner arrived. I had chicken fingers and French fries, while he had fried calamari, a cheeseburger and fries. For desert we had strawberry cheesecake (which would be eaten later on) After the meal, we talked some more. One of my favorite aspects of this relationship is the communication. I love how we are so comfortable to talk to each other. We talk about sensitive areas of life. We reassure the other that we are willing to push through problems great and small. (I am reassuring you again Brooklyn, that we can and will make it through ANY problem!) The talking went from the chair to the bed. Our bodies seem to take over at a certain point (maybe because we have been depriving them of sex). Our bodies screamed for each other. The excitement was overwhelming. The heartbeats grew faster, the air became steamy, and the love that was hidden burst through the walls of fear and resistance. There is no turning back now. After our passionate moment, took a shower. I washed every inch of his body and he washed every inch of mine. It was another way of getting close to each other; a way of knowing each other on an intimate level. After the shower, I turned on the Golden Girls (my favorite televisions show, which he also likes… yay!!!). We watched the girls and fed each other cheese cake. This has been a very sensual experience. We have used all five of our senses to experience each other…… Hearing (talking about love), Taste (eating together; feeding each other), Touch (washing each others’ body), Smell (discovering the scents of the other) and Sight (making it a point to see each other at every possible moment). Announcement to you all…….. I am happy! I am content! I am officially UN-Single!

…And so it goes

"I just want you close, where you can stay forever..."

So, Alicia has to say it for me because I have no words to describe last night. I did not want to let go. Before I go on, let me just say that there was no sex, which in it self is an enormous achievement for me....

It started a few weeks ago at a club where I met this guy (let's call him Brooklyn). My friends introduced us, but he seemed pre-occupied, as he was the host of the party. I left the club without getting any further indication of his attraction towards me. I said, "oh well" and the idea of him was placed in the corner of my mind. Last week my friends and I attended a group discussion where I saw Brooklyn again. This time his attention was on me and mine on him. Throughout the meeting we exchanged flirtatious comments and prolonged eye contact. Unfortunately, we parted ways again without exchanging information. From that day, I said, "I want him." Well, they say if you put things out into the universe they start to happen and sure enough I got a myspace message from Brooklyn requesting me as a friend. (Gotta love that damn myspace, No one can hide) After a couple of days of emails we decided to meet, which brings me to last night.

What can I say, without sounding like the helplessly romantic cancer that I am....Hmmmm. We talked...and talked...and talked...Communication opens the doors to so much. Our conversation was so empowering and uplifting. We talked about life. We talked our goals, our dreams, our ideas. We talked over wine. We talked by candle light. We talked listening to Chrisette Michele. We talked with smiles on our faces. We talked in between kisses. Well you get the idea.....We talked!!! All night long, until we fell asleep in each others arms. I wish you could feel the emotion and connection. I can only hope that it is real. Don't worry, I am not deleting accounts yet (I've done that b4). I am going to play this one out slowly. I just wanted to share by joy with you. I challenge you all to communicate with your lovers or friends. It is a phenomenal tool that allows relationships to flourish.

...And so it goes

Interpretations of Educations

I am so tempted to spend this whole blog talking about love, relationships, and the broken heart that I feel as a result of my best friends parting ways. I know that I am a helpless romantic so I will try not to pour my soul out to you on here. So......

Education! As you know, I am in my senior year at Kean University. I am graduating in May with a Bachelor degree in English. (HALLELUJAH) I have been sitting in my classes the past few weeks and I started thinking about my childhood. As a child my mother tried to instill Christian beliefs and moral values in me. I was happy to follow her lead and grew up believing in GOD and followoing the teachings of the Bible. My mother also was a firm believer in education. School was not an option, but a neccesity. When I finally came out (of the closet) my mother was horrified and stopped talking to me for a year. We are now speaking and have a somewhat normal relationship. My religous beliefs were tested as I began to ask myself questions about being gay and a christian. I soon learned that love is love. I believe that I will not be punished for loving another human being, regardless of gender. As I am attending my college courses (the ones that my mother says were so important to take), I am learning that the bible is full of contradictions. My professors teach against the bible and against natural religion. One of my professors even stated that Jesus Christ was gay and having "relations" with his disciples. Now, I laugh at some of my professors, but the interesting thing is that the same institution that my mother built up in my head is the same one that is destroying the religous belifs that she worked so hard to instill. I guess that is irony. Education is great. Education is not for the meek. You have to be strong in yourself and in your own beliefs. Know who you are. Do not let anyone-teacher, parents, friends, preacher-anyone tell you what or who to believe in. You have to find your own way. In the end, Love is the answer. Love yourself, Love your neighbor, Love your enemy, Love your brother, Love everyone......I guess that is spoken like a true helpless romantic. lol sorry.

...And so it goes

Sparatic Brain Processes

My friends are getting on me for not blogging. I tried being lazy and putting off, but they are looking over my shoulder. So here are some "random thoughts".

Work-School

I have been playing hook from work the last couple of days. Those children and their germs were getting on my nerves. All that damn sneezing and coughing without covering their mouths. I need to go buy a can of Lysol to put near my desk. Classes are going ok. This is the third week. No major assignments yet, just a lot of reading. I have about 300 pages of material to cover per week. I am going to be such a learned man in the end ...lol.

Family

My family is beginning to get on my nerves. We have published a book and they have left it up to me to get it out there and printed. They call me every couple of days and it is a little annoying with my school and work load. They also want me to get my brother, sister, and cousin into my college....As if I am the director of admissions. I guess that is family for you. You gotta Love em' I am happy that they have somewhat moved on from their fixation about me being gay. They have transferred their judgements to my uncle, who is shacking up with a woman 10 years his senior. Hey, I say to each his own. I am just glad they are off me for the moment.

Friends

I love my friends. It is so nice to have genuine people in your life; People that are not judgemental; People who have your back; People who care about what you think; People who will be there until the end. I was once in a relationship where my lover was my only outlet. I felt that he didn't want me to have friends. I wasn't allowed to talk to anyone for fear that I was cheating. Well to anyone out there with lover and friends...Make sure you balance your time. Your friendships are priceless. Treasure them! "When lovers leave, Your friends love"

Love-Dating

As some of you know, I was trying out a long-distance relationship. I don't think it is working. We both have very hectic school shedules and have not spoken in over a week. It is very hard to juggle life with long-distance love. Hell, it is hard to juggle dating with my school schedule. I want love. I love love. I look at my two friends Shawn and Fuzzy and admire their connection; their friendship; their relationship; their love. I guess I will press on. I challenge you all to make 1 new friend this week. It doesn't have to be a date, just a random friend.

Well, here are my " sparatic brain processes." Do what them what you will. Comments welcomed, criticism welcome, advice welcome (dee). I love you all. Have a great week.

...And so it goes

Happy New Year

I know that we generally celebrate the new year on the 1st of January, however for me the new year usually starts in September. My careers are in education. For those that don't know, I am a Building Substitute Teacher and also in school myself at Kean University. What is a "Building Substitute you may ask... It is a couple steps up from a regular substitute teacher. We basically have a specific class in a specific school for the year. Although we do not have a salary, we do have a contract and are guaranteed a position. We perform all the duties of a regular teacher including lesson plans, workshops, bulletin boards etc. I was placed in a 1st grade classroom this year. I will be there until Thanksgiving, after which I will move to a Kindergarten class for the remainder of the year. I am also excited because I plan to finish my Bachelors degree this year. I am taking 7 course this semester and 6 next semester to graduate in May with a degree in English and Education.

I move into full gear tomorrow, Monday September 10th. My year begins. I teach from 8am-3pm and attend class from 5pm-10:30pm Mon-Thurs. I have R.A. duty on Fridays. As you can see my new year will be hectic. I am happy to be busy. This will help me to be focused on school and my long distance relationship (Love you "lil bit"). My part-time job at the hotel is trying to get me to work on the weekends. My friends call me a workaholic. I am going to say no. I don't think I can manage two jobs and school full-time. i think I will reserve the weekends for my friends and family. (I love you guys)

To everyone out there, I hope your lives are prosperous. Have a blessed year! Happy New Years!!!

...And so it goes

Thoughts of a Crowd

So, today is Saturday. I am currently in Brooklyn with a few of my friends (a few being 10). We are being good at the moment (no sexual escapades as of yet). We all were shocked when we first entered the building. We got off the elevator and when it opened, we were entering the apartment of the host. How sexy is that. The elevator opens into the actual apartment. After about an hour of decision making, we decided to order "soul food". I have to say it was one of the most satisfying meals I have ever eaten. I had fried shrimp, macaroni and cheese, and collarged greens (not collard greens, collarged greens). So now I am drunk....no tipsy, full, and horny. With that said, I decided to write a blog.

As I am listening to the interactions of the crowd, I see that I am regarded as the love struck, sexually addicted, nice guy. When I first heard the comments, I was taken back. How do I feel, knowing my peers think I fall in love too fast or get attached too quickly? I don't know. Should I re-think my position on love and relationships? NOPE! I am perfectly fine with my ideas on love and my actions over the last month. I am 25 years old and have only been in two relationships
(1 for 3.5 years and 1 for 7 months). I have experienced various situations and emotions and feel that I have a firm grasp on the pulse of my heart. I know my feelings and my emotions and am comfortable expressing them. (The funny thing is we are having this discussion right now and I am typing this as we speak)

On a more sexual note, I am HORNY. There are a couple guys here that I just met and they are cute. One of them belongs to one of my friends DAMN, and the other is pretty quiet. I am horny though.

Back to the interactions going on now....Dee is speaking his mind, Jay's comments are usually a rebuttal to Dee's. At least they are off me and on to Greg. They are talking about how he doesn't fall in love at all. I guess we are the two extremes. I am too fast and he is too slow. Fuzzy is sleep , X and Soldier look high, Omar is drunk and sleep, Shawn is laid back and throwing in comments here and there. I think we all are thinking about sex. Well at least I am. lol I NEED SOME SEX!!!



...And so it goes

Occupational Humor

Most of you that read my blog know that I work in education as a Permanent Substitute Teacher. I will graduate next May with a bachelors in English and Elementary Education from Kean University. I was bored at work this morning and decided to look at some jokes. As I read some hilarious stories, I came across a school house joke. As a teacher, I use sarcasm in the classroom a lot to combat "smart ass" kids. Here's the joke...

A teacher was wrapping up class, and started talking about tomorrow's final exam. He said there would be no excuses for not showing up tomorrow, barring a dire medical condition or an immediate family member's death. One smart ass, male student said, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?", and the whole classroom burst into laughter.

After the laughter had subsided, the teacher glared at the student, and said, "Not an excuse, you can use your other hand to write."

***Some of us will get it today, some of us will get it tommorow. Either way, this is my post for the day.


...And so it goes

Friends Trivia

Once again, I am sitting at work bored and tired. I have been catching up on my blog readings and I see that a lot of people are posting blogs on friendships and relationships. I decided to take a moment to write about my friends. Then I thought, why not make it interesting. So.......I am going to give a description of each of my friends, without divulging their name. I want to see if they(my friends) can guess who each person really is, including themselves. ***Note***I limited this to those friends who have read my blog in the past and are current bloggers. There are other friends in the group not mentioned***..........Here goes:

1.He is "fabulous". He is a helpless romantic. Like me, he likes relationships. Although he likes sex, it doesn't define his character. He is extremely talented and great things can be expected from him in the near future. He sometimes needs a little space to gather his thoughts. He is my friend

2.He is "darling". He is always listening or helping a friend in need. He is also talented and I expect great "creations" from him. He his a very sexual person. He is one of the organizers of the group. He likes attention---- and he gets it! He has wonderful sense of humor, which is enhanced by the first person mentioned. He is my friend.

3.He is "dashing". He is the epitomy of sophistication. When he enters a room, the children take notice. He always has a pair of "reading" glasses on. He is the kind of person that will always give you a straight answer, with a hint of sarcasm. He is genuine. He always has your best interest at heart. He is my friend

4.He is "sexsational"He is my personality double. He is comfortable with who he is and could care less what others may think. Lets just say he is a fan of "spirits" (now be careful there are about 3 ppl in the group who are also fans of spirits) . He always has a smile on his face. A frequent line of his is "No No". He is my friend.

5.He is "wonderful" He is the understanding one. He is soooo open minded. You could always go to him with a problem and he will always have an answer. He is a true friend. He is very talented--I have seen it. Eventhough he is not totally "out" he is comfortable with who he is. He welcomes you with open arms and a open heart. He is my friend

6.He is "a doll" He is the sweet one. I wouldn't call him shy, but he is not the most talkative one in the group. He will always add his thoughts and is very comfortable doing so. He is another one who enjoys the "spirits" He brings pleasure to everyone in the group with his creations. He is my friend

7.He is "lovely" He hasn't been figured out by everyone yet. His quietness leaves him a little ambiguous. He is a caring person. He is also a helpless romantic, looking for love and a relationship. He probably would be a great catch for someone. Once he gets to know you, he will be glad to have you as a friend. He is lovely. He is my friend.

8.He is "fantastic" He is one of the three flirts in the group. Although he is another new addition to the group, he is well liked and accepted. His blog seems to convey that our sexual appetites might be similar. He is a nice guy who might just be a helpless romantic...maybe. He is my friend

Comment with the number and the correct name. If you get them all right, I will give you $1. Good Luck.

Ode to Love

Good Evening Bloggers,

Following Fuzzy's lead, I am posting a poem that I wrote. I have only had two relationships. I wrote this poem after getting into my second relationship. Unfotunately the relationship is over now. Hopefully I will be able to add more to the poem when I meet that right "one"

Knowing Love
By: Tyson


You think you know love, but it doesn’t know you…
Love ignores idol claims to it and searches on through.
I finally met love, and at last it saw me…
It approved of my claim and allowed me to see.
I took love as mine and vowed never to release…
Love returned my promise and we were both at peace.
I thought love broke our vows, causing so much hurt and pain…
But love soon reminded me that it was not to blame.
Love was angered by my strikes against its power and its might…
It was determined not to let go without putting up a fight.
Love caused chaos between my mind body and heart…
We eventually came to a compromise and decided not to part.
The years to follow, love lay dormant in my heart…
Like an un-charged battery, with out enough power to re-start.
Just when I thought that my heart and my mind were stable…
You entered my life, equipped with a pair of jumper cables
You jumpstarted love and gave it a burst of vitality…
Stronger than before, more powerful than I ever imagined it could be
Every day with you is like nourishment for my mind and my heart…
Love feeds off of this food like a killer whale to a shark.
I renewed my vows with love. New promises we both made…
We said we’d give our all and never let the passion fade.
Me and love made this vow, we’ve done all we can do…
The rest of the equation is all left up to you.
Love said it knows you. Love says that you are true…
So lets combine my love plus your love and add me and you.
These ingredients create a recipe that sounds and tastes so sweet…

Love will bind us together so that will never meet defeat.

...And so it goes

Addictions

Hello Bloggers,

Many different people have many different addicitons. There are drug addictions, alcohol addictions and even love addictions. I have been looking over my life and I find that, I too have addcitions to cope with. I am a workaholic and a nymphomaniac (Is that how you spell it? I don't feel like looking it up, which is odd becuase by the time I typed all of this I could have checked the spelling :-)

I work full time at a hotel during the summer. I have been working double shifts for the last month. By the time I get home and take a nap, it is time to go back to work. I think I work to pass the time. I don't really need the extra money. Even when I do get paid, it seems that my check just disappears in the wind. My friends have get-togethers often and I usually can't attend because I'm working. Whenever my boss asks me to work, I say yes. I think i have a problem with saying "no". I want to spend more time with my friends, but work just seems to consume me.

My second addiction is sex. I can't explain it. I have met some people who are totally uninterested in sex. What is that about????I have met others that are like me, wanting it all the time. I don't know if being a nympho is a bad thing. It can be if you are sleeping around. I guess I should find a mate that has the same high sex drive. My problem is that I am too busy to invest the time neccessary to have a good relationship. My time is consumed with school and work. So what is the solution??? You tell me...


...And so it goes

Meet Me

Hello Bloggers,

My name is Tyson. I am twenty-five years old as of July 7, 2007. I am brand new to the blogger community. My friend, Shawn introduced me to "blog world". I am a full-time student at Kean University in Union, NJ, majoring in Elementary Education and English. During the year, I am a substitute teacher, certified in grades K-12. Along with teching and being taught, I manage to squeeze in a few hours of work at a hotel in Newark, NJ. I am originally from Neptune, NJ. My family is one of the most important things in my life, GOD being the most important. I spend my leisure time (the little that I have) with my friends or at home relaxing.

Social interactions and love act as a shadow in my life. Other than my "circle of friends" I do not interact with many people. This is something that I am attempting to rectify. I have done the club scene, but have not found people with substance. Hopefully, the blogger communtiy will open the doors to positive social interactions. Love, like friendships have been minimal in my life. I have loved twice and lost twice. Each relationship has left me with the knowledge to make the next even greater. I do not regret meeting anyone in my life. Their input and impact have improved my personality and outlook on life. I look forward to my next ventures in love and friendship. I hope that you will be here to read my thoughts and help me grow.

...And so it goes